It Gets Worse and Then Better

Today, I returned to my classes after being out sick yesterday. Some of the kids expressed how much they missed me, while others continued to drive me up the wall with their behavior. My sub left reports for each class, and I was shocked to see that my normally GOOD class was "terrible and loud". That surprised me a lot, and I let them know how disappointed in them I am. They seemed to take it seriously.

My normally crazy, rowdy class, however, had a note left saying that they "were on task, completing their work, and by far was the best class of the day." Naturally, I was SHOCKED but in a good way this time. All day long (because I have those kiddos at the very end of the day) I planned out what I could do for them to make the day special since they received that glowing report from the sub. When they came in, I told them how happy I was and how proud of them I am. Then, I let a boy pass out some treats his mother had donated for just this occasion, and the kids loved that. I also told them that instead of writing today, we would be playing a game. I want them to know that yes, they WILL be rewarded for their positive behavior. Well, as soon as we started playing the game (Brainquest in teams for extra credit -- which my kids normally love!) they got super rowdy and just couldn't handle themselves AT ALL in a manner that sixth graders should be capable of.

Instead of playing the game, we ended it, and they began to do their daily writing that the other classes had already done. I calmly explained to them why they lost the privilege, but they kept talking over me. I was so upset that I silently wrote on the board how disappointed I was in them after looking forward to their class all day. I also thanked the few who were being respectful and responsible so they knew I did appreciate that. The kids then started MOCKING what I had written on the board in silly voices. I just can't handle this anymore. I am losing my self confidence and wondering if I even majored in the right thing. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a teacher after all.

Tonight, I picked Dan up and we went to dinner. As we sat in the restaurant, I told him everything I needed to about today while stifling back tears the whole time. He is such a great listener, and he just took everything in while giving some small feedback. When we got home, however, he gave me a pretty long back massage because I am so stressed and he sees that. He then proceeded to give me some AMAZING ideas and tips to use with my kiddos next week. He didn't even go to school for education, and he is better at this than I am -- but I am not complaining. Any help I can get I will take right now. I have a couple solid ideas of new things to to motivate them and encourage them because I think that it part of the problem. They don't care about school or learning because they don't think they'll make it through anyway. I am going to prove them wrong. They CAN make it. They CAN succeed. And if I have anything to do with it, they WILL.

I am so thankful that Dan is so helpful. He is always there for me when I need him, and I have been needing him a lot more than normal lately. I am blessed to be able to call on him for help when I need it and that he is willing to sacrifice his own time to help me. He also told me that he will come down to my school (even in uniform so they'll take him seriously) and have a talk about whatever I need him to. He knows they lie and steal constantly, so he thought about maybe bringing up the Cadet Honor Code and how serious of a thing it is -- and maybe making a Classroom Honor Code for each class. I wonder if they would enjoy that or take him seriously. The last thing I want is for them to disrespect him as well.

It's getting late now, and I need to sleep this day off. Goodnight, world.

Janelle

Five Ways to Help Others

It’s Thursday, and that means it’s writing prompt day. Today’s prompt is one I’ve been wanting to write about for a few weeks, but it’s also one that I know will take me a while to complete. I have been sick at home today, so I have had time to think this through. This week’s prompt is: Write out five things you can do to help other people this week (or five things you’ve already done).

1. Teach. Each and every day that I do my job correctly I am helping not one person but over 100. I have 110 kids total throughout any given day, and when I teach them grammar that they don’t already know, I am helping them. When I help them read because they can’t comprehend the text, I am helping them. When I show them how to format an expository essay because they haven’t developed any writing skills yet, I am helping them. Although it is my job to help them, it’s something that many teachers do not do anymore. Many teachers simply roll their eyes when a student asks the same question for the third time. Many teachers sit at their computers and mess around while the students do whatever they want. Maybe I am just young a naïve, but I deeply care about each and every child I work with. I don’t get along with all of them, and I certainly don’t LIKE all of them, but I care for them because I know that many of them have no support elsewhere, and if I can be that one stable person they see each day, then I am doing my job of helping these children succeed and thrive.

2. Give. Another way I can help people is by giving. I am not the type of person to throw out clothes on a regular basis, but my wonderful fiancé often encourages me (i.e. makes me) fill up bags with clothes that I haven’t worn in a long time. We then drop off those bags at the local Goodwill. I always feel good about doing that. Another way to give is to hand out granola bars to homeless people who are standing on the streets. Yes, this is something I have done before (when I’m not alone in the car), and I acknowledge that I should do more. I know that I have a pretty good life, and since I have everything I need, I should do more to help others. One final way I can give (and I plan on doing this tomorrow morning during my weekly Friday trip to Starbucks before work) is to buy another customer’s order somewhere. Tomorrow at Starbucks I will offer to pay for the person behind me in line (and there is always a line at 6:45 on a Friday morning). It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

3. Inspire. When I am down, I love when people take notice of that and send a little extra something my way, even if it’s just a few words. Because of that, I ALWAYS notice when other people need a little extra, so this week, when I noted that Dan was completely down from being stressed to the max from the Academy, I made sure to send him a sweet e-mail to remind him of why he is working so hard, how it is going to pay off, and how proud of him I am. It was a simple gesture that took no more than ten minutes from my evening, but seeing him like that makes me sad (naturally), so I had to try to make things right. He’s been up at all hours of the night all week working on homework because he’s had his long day of classes more often than not this week, not to mention several tests in various classes. He takes his schoolwork seriously, and I think that is awesome. I hope the e-mail I sent him cheered him up, at least momentarily, and I also hope the five page (and extremely boring) paper about Socrates that I edited helped him out too.

4. Write. I haven’t done this yet, but since I enjoy writing so much (and since it seems to help people when they know someone is thinking of them and someone cares), I think I will use my writing ability to send notes to deployed troops. I wrote one in November when I had my students write letters for class, and we sent them all to Afghanistan (we’ve only gotten one reply out of over 100, though – bummer). This time, I think I will set aside a certain amount of time each week, maybe an hour or so, and start consistently writing to people I don’t know. I know that they don’t have their loved ones with them when they are overseas, and the least I can do is to write a simple letter. After all, I have survived two of Dan’s Basic Trainings (USAFA Prep School and then USAFA – thankfully I didn’t have to endure his nine week Army Basic Training) by writing letter upon letter. I wrote him at least two a day, every single day he was out of contact. I hope that I can bring the same joy to other members of the US Military by sending them encouragement in the form of letters and motivation quotes.

5. Smile. I know this one sounds simple and overrated, but who doesn’t love receiving a smile when they look at someone? I know that when I make eye contact with someone and they smile, I feel appreciated, even if only for a brief moment. The exact opposite can be said for when I make eye contact with someone and they don’t even acknowledge me; it turns my mood sour automatically. Maybe it’s because I am friendly and cheerful to everyone I meet, but I have noticed that many of the people who live in the same apartment complex as me do NOT smile. I will walk to the gym or to the mail area and say hi to someone walking her dog. She won’t even acknowledge that I said hello. This has happened on multiple occasions with multiple people who are also walking to check their mail or walking their dogs or carrying groceries in from their cars, and I hate it. I know that smiling can make the biggest different in someone’s lie if he/she is having a bad day. Sometimes, all they need is to see that someone else is happy, and then their mood will lift up as well. Smiling is something I am natural at; I do it all the time. It won’t take any extra effort on my part, and it’s something that will genuinely help other people.

It seems easy to me to do things to help other people, but when I had to sit down and actually think about them, it became more of a challenge. However, I’ve always been a helper. I think that’s what made me want to be a teacher; I just love helping people, and it always comes naturally to me. After reflecting on the things I already do and the things I can do to help others out, I am in a much better mood. I feel good about myself. I feel happy. And with that, I am going to eat a bowl of ice cream and read until I fall asleep!

Janelle

Sick Again

Just as I was finally thinking my sinus infection had cleared, I developed cold-like symptoms. My nose got runny again (just a day or two after it finally went away from the last time), and this morning I woke up with body aches, chills, and a sore throat. GREAT. I went to work anyway because I didn't have ANY sub plans prepared. I made it through the day somehow (with a lot of group work amongst the kiddos because I couldn't talk too much), but I made sure to prep my boards for tomorrow, type out sub plans, leave names of responsible kids, and request a sub. Luckily, I checked online, and one of the best agreed to take my classes for tomorrow, so now I can sleep easy tonight.

I know I shouldn't be shocked that I am getting sick so often. I AM working around grimy 12 year olds all day, and they don't know how to use a Kleenex. Sometimes they are pretty gross, and I am learning a lot about parenting from this. I will need to remember that yes, you DO have to teach your kids how to blow their noses... how to wipe them... how to wash their hands afterward... how to not touch everyone else's things afterward. Good to know. I think the only reason I'm surprised I've been sick so much is because I hadn't been sick in two and a half years, so this whole thing is completely wearing down my body. I know part of it is also stress. Since I am so stressed lately, my immunity is down, and that doesn't help things either.

I just soaked my feet in the awesome foot spa I have with eucalyptus dead sea salts, and I feel better already. I'm drinking hot herbal peppermint tea, lounging in my favorite (and super comfortable) Air Force sweat pants, and plan on reading a few chapters of my book before going to sleep with TWO Nyquil pills that will hopefully knock me out GOOD and allow me to sleep until at least 10 or so. I don't have anything I need to get done tomorrow because I was a good girl and left ALL of my teaching stuff at the school so I WOULDN'T work on it. I need to take some time for ME. I will rest all day and be happy.

I will write more tomorrow... wish me luck for kicking this bug soon!

Janelle

Book Review: The Lucky One

Last night, I finished reading The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. It was by far the best Sparks book I have read since A Walk to Remember in high school (and I have read quite a few).

I really enjoyed the story of Logan Thibault, a former US Marine, who believes that a photograph of a woman he has never met kept him safe (and alive) while fighting in Iraq. He saw many of his comrades get killed in action, and his best friend Victor declared that the photograph that Thibault (what he goes by in the novel) found is his lucky charm. Thibault doesn't believe it until after he and Victor return home from Iraq and another unfortunate event takes place after Victor convinces Thibault that it must be his destiny to find the woman in the photograph to "pay her back" for saving him at war.

Thibault researches where the photograph could have been taken, and then he sets out on a walk from Colorado (where he is from) all the way to Hampton, North Carolina, where he believes the photograph of the woman was taken. He searches the town and eventually finds her, and the rest is history. I want to give more details, but I hate when people ruin books for me, so I won't do that. I will just urge you to read the novel.

There is a movie version coming out on April 20th, 2012, and I can't wait to see it. This is one that I will definitely be dragging Dan to see with me, and I hope it turns out far better than the last Sparks novel-turned-movie I saw did (Dear John: the book was mediocre; the movie sucked). If you read it or have already read it, let me know what you think. I'm eager to talk about it.

Tonight, I bought Triumph: Life After the Cult -- A Survivor's Lesson by Carolyn Jessop. I have an odd fascination with Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (Mormons) for some reason (I blame it on Jon Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven that Dan sent me to read after he finished it about two years ago). I can't wait to get started reading, and I'll write a review once I'm finished. This makes four books read so far in 2012, and I am on my way to achieving my goal of 24 during the year.

Janelle

Monday, Monday

Today was Monday, and oh boy was it ever a Monday! The kids were NUTS, and so many teachers were out. The place was out of control. One substitute even said that she taught in inner city Chicago and had eighth graders with several bullet wounds... yet the school I'm teaching at is worse. Wow. That should be a reality check BIG TIME.

When I got home, I remembered that I had leftover Red Robin to eat, so I heated that up for dinner, and it was just as good the second time around, thanks to the oven instead of the microwave! That was nice. Then, Lizzie came over. She is staying with me tonight because her flight out of Colorado got canceled, so it has been nice catching up with her again, even though we had lunch together yesterday.

I am SO looking forward to this weekend because I have next Monday off for President's Day. I am ecstatic! Usually when the kids have the day off, the teachers still have to go in for workshops or professional development or even just teacher work days... so to have a day TRULY off, I am beyond excited. You'll find me in bed until 11 and lounging around all day that day. AAAHHHH. :)

Well, I better go grade some papers before bed. Yay.

Janelle