Encouragement Welcome

“So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time.” –Galatians 6:9

I am still frustrated with the way things are going at work. I'm really not appreciating the lack of respect from the students. I know that it's not my fault, that it's how they have been raised... but I'm not okay with it. I am doing everything I can to teach them common courtesies, such as self respect and respect for others. I've had the kids look up different words in the dictionary, define them, write about them. We've had whole class discussions about how amazing our opportunities are in the United States compared to some other countries (and they were SHOCKED to hear some of the things I told them). I have yelled. I have ignored them. I have tried everything. I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do anymore. Today, I randomly found this Bible passage, saying not to get discouraged because things WILL work out. It's just what I needed to see. I still don't know HOW I should persevere, as I have four full months left with these same students.

I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

It's starting to feel impossible, though, when I am babysitting more than I am teaching. Some days I think I am failing because I can't make it through my entire lessons because I have to stop to teach them how to live like actual human beings in the sixth grade. Then sometimes I think that they need that more than they need to learn grammar. I don't know. It's tough, but it's my job. I love these kids. I care for them. I want to see them succeed. I hope this is just a phase and that we can break out of it soon. When I come home in the evenings, I feel like I am free, and I never feel that way at work.

That said, this morning as I was greeting kids by the door as they came in, I had two girls run up to me and hug me, saying that they missed me over the weekend. That made me melt, and I realized that YES, I AM making a difference. It is unrealistic for me to think that I am going to reach 100% of them, but some of them do care, and some of them ARE moving forward.

I really need to stop venting here. It gets me all worked up in the evenings when I am trying my hardest to calm down from the long days. I am going to go read now before I fall asleep. I need to get to bed early tonight because I am EXHAUSTED from a non-relaxing weekend.

Janelle