A Little Satire

Getting to China Ineffectively: A Traveler's How-To Guide

Step One: Promise friends you'll give them a ride for their flights (that leave later than yours). Assume they will be on time.

Step Two: Wake up at 4:15AM, shower, and get ready. Receive text message from said friends saying, "We are going to be late."

Step Three: Assume the best, and wait it out. Have fiancée drive you and two friends to airport six miles away for a quick drop off.

Step Four: Say goodbye to fiancée for a month. Send her home to sleep.

Step Five: Call fiancée after she has gotten home and into bed. Tell her to come back because you missed your flight. (Thank United Airlines for their INCREDIBLE customer service, the SUPER short line, and their POSITIVE attitude... because after all, you were still there over an hour early, and your ticket was printed wrong from them, saying you were flying United when really the flight was through Frontier, which you would have made had you not stood in the long line at United for an hour straight).

Step Six: Rush to airport 75 miles away, trying to make it in under an hour and a half to catch the connecting flight out.

Step Seven: Battle rush hour traffic on a busy interstate while talking on the phone with United Airline representatives and having your fiancée write everything down.

Step Eight: Miss the connecting flight due to traffic. Should have stolen a plane to fly yourself there.

Step Nine: Find an alternative flight, notify everyone important in Colorado and in China so everyone knows what's going on. Forward new itinerary to fiancée, host, driver, travel-mate, and the entire office of important people sending you on this trip.

Step Ten: Arrive at airport 75 miles away, and say goodbye to loving fiancée AGAIN, apologizing for the inconvenience.

In all honesty, though, this worked out better for me. I was a mess after taking Dan to the Colorado Springs airport the first time this morning, and after going into adrenaline mode and helping him figure everything out to make it still work for today, I felt accomplished and proud sending him off from Denver. He was highly stressed, though, but I do have to say that we make a great team and always get things done.